Dazed.

Time has flew by pretty past. For the past five months, I've been doing the same routine over and over again. I tried to glimpse back every now and then for the times I had almost a year back and it seems so very far away. Depression is a constant feeling I have and I feel like a trapped animal in a cage fostered in a far away place. Trapped and dazed. Wanting to go back so badly but nature definitely cannot permit it.

My faith has definitely turned into stone. My mind, more often than not, is blank. Blank and emotionless. Waiting for an event to happen. Waiting for my own world to move in its own accord. A year ago, I was living in a dream. School is almost over and I know everything will be alright. I had everything I wanted but I was too reckless to the point I've lost everything I've worked for. I know I've earned it, but it was taken from me so deliberately, so easily.

Now, I don't even mope. I was over that stage of crying over spilt milk. Now, I just sit idly. Waiting for something to happen. I don't even talk to God anymore. I don't thank him every night, like I have always did. My soul is calloused. Numb. I feel nothing. Hollow. I feel that there's no point in going on, when nothing is really going on. Today is just the same as yesterday as tomorrow will be the same the next day.

I try to smile. I try to tell jokes. But deep inside, I know I am not happy. Sometimes, I just stay awake at night, I cannot sleep. Depression is a constant inhabitant to my hollow mind. I try to comprehend what happened and what went wrong.

I wish this would all end.

Please forgive me.

When I look into your eyes...
I thought I heard you cry,
did I do something wrong?
Please forgive me...

Language Lessons.

I hope this song can tell you how I feel tonight
You are my first dissection spilling my insides
Let's write our names with the blood that's in our cheeks
So it won't wash away if I don't come home for weeks
And I don't come home...

I never said
This would be easy
I let her go when she said she was leaving
So whisper softly
And don't forget
To tell me how you feel in five words or less

I knew I should have never offered you the world
The nights are full of faces you're the only girl
Turn my world from disaster
Make my heart start beating faster
Ask the question, here's the answer
I need you now and I can't stand this

Just tell me how you feel...
I need your voice tonight...
Just tell me how you feel...

I'll Embrace Forever My Sweet Girl