My life, take it, its yours.

GODDAMN!

Life is life. Damn, you know what? I am sick of tired of this programming shit. When you are about to solve a problem, another one pops out. Huhuhu, i cannot take this! I want to smash this monitor and pull a machine gun out of nowhere then massacre all the people here. Joke!

I can't imagine how much more stupider i can get. Is stupider a word? Well, hell, i was spending like, two hours on this code:

if((parent.frames['main_active'].document.title == "Switch"))

That line of code X gazillion. Then, you know what my friggin' mistake is? Holy Mother of pearl! A single EQUAL (=) was missing! Oh, my God! I wanted to smash my head on this monitor, then drink my blood!

Tanga ko amputa!

Then, as if on cue, i breezed through my other problems, then as if on cue again, another problem that cannot be solved... But that's for tomorrow, i'm going to meet a friend then give her, hey, i don't know what this is called. Well, anyways, she left it on my desk! That...

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bangag na ko makauwi na nga.

Hello life.

Things had been catastrophic lately. I cannot think straight. After almost a month, i am still devastated by bombs that shook the very fiber of my moral entity. Hah! Can't get enough of my poetic crap!? Well, you cannot pretend to be happy and smile all the time when you are dying, rotting inside, thinking of the what if's and the what could have been's.

Being the obnoxious moron that i am, i cannot help but internalize and engross on things that matter most - Myself. Yep, i should think of myself more. I should worry about myself more than i worry about others. I had been too good. I could pass as a saint. Kidding aside, i should have focused on my life than the life of others. I should have loved myself more.

Standing defeated on the aftershocks of my life before is not acceptable. I thought i can cope, i thought i can stand tall and be happy once more if i could wait a little longer. But no, when you are left alone in a middle of a fight you know you cannot win, then, you really cannot win. Fighting a two-person fight alone means suicide.

But i know myself fully well. I am fully equipped. A well-oiled machinery. Giving up is cowardice and cowardice is defeat. Everyone knows that. Fighting a losing battle is much more acceptable than running away and losing the war.

Battles are fought, blood is spilt, tears are cried... but running away is a lowly excuse for not fighting your fight and spilling your blood...

But when do you owe yourself to give up?

Now, that's one question that deserves a honest answer. Yes, giving up is cowardice, giving up is accepting defeat, but when is enough?

Enough is when the purpose of your battle gives up. When the purpose of the battle accepts his defeat and face his life anew. Running away from a fight because he found another refuge is a clear sign of defeat and for that he should learn to accept his karma that will inevitably come soon.

Giving up is one lowly premise of your new life.

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you reader, you may have no idea of what i am talking about. You may not understand things i am relating here. But maybe on your own time, you should learn how to give everything up for yourself.