For you.

10:29 PM

Hi,

Thanks for calling me. You know I needed to hear your high-croaking voice very bad.
I know you are mad at me. But you still called. You were mad when you called so I
haven't said what I wanted to say.

I could enumerate a plethora of things I would do,
to make you realize how much I am sorry.
I had to admit, I am really scared of losing you now.
I really need you now, more than I ever, ever did.
You said to me that I could have called others.
But you know that you are my shock absorber and my fortress.

You were really fuming a while ago. I let you vent out your frustrations and anger.
I wish I could see you right now and hug you tight and tell you that I regret
the things I have said and the wrong doings I have done.
You cried. Again. My fault.
I had to admit, when you cry, I tremble.
I get mad at myself for doing that to you again and again.
You said words we both know you did not mean.
I have said words that were not even in my repertoire.
Because of anger.

I am really sorry.
I remember one time, we got into a petty fight.
I have told you that I would eat live chicken while crossing a rope above rooftops.
You gave me your little smirks and you forgave me.
I wish I could tell you that I would eat fire - just forgive me.

I will tell you one thing I am sorry about:
It was May 30th. You told me something that rejuvenated me so much.
I became happy, because for the longest time - I have waited.
Then you granted me my wish.
I became restless and eager at the same time.
But because of that eagerness, I screwed up.
We both got mad. And this is the result.

I am really sooo sorry. And I mean it. I really mean it.
If I could spend my entire life making it up to you - I will.
If you could just give me a chance.
I know, this line is packed and consumed already.
But love is about giving. There's no too much.
Just give it your all.
Now, I want your generosity.
If you could not give me that chance.
I know, you have the right to do so.
But just accept my sorry.
I am really sorry.

Maybe tomorrow we can talk again,
This night, you might be still mad.
Somewhere in time, I would like to talk about it.

But for now -

Tonight, I bid you goodnight.
This night, sleep tight - my love.
Tomorrow, we can talk about it,
and make everything alright.

Thanks for being there for me:
For being my bestfriend, my sister, my parent,
my teacher, my life - my all. :(

10:44pm
---------------

To whom this may concern,
Hoy, Tangina, sinabing tama na eh, nakakaasar ka na.
Sabing ayaw ko, alam mo, may respeto pa ko sayo eh.
Matagal na pinagsamahan natin, kung gusto mo magtagal
yon, please ha? Lubayan mo ko. Isa pang mail,
lilitsunin kita.

Sorry.

I am so sorry. Before I go, I want to let you know that I am so sorry for the things I have done. You know me very well and you know that is just one of my tantrums. I understand if you are so mad at me. But please, know this: I never meant all those things I have said. I just needed you during those times and you were not there. I wanted you to talk some sense to me. I waited for hours. I needed you.

I am really sorry. If I have to spend the rest of my days here making it up to you - I will. I don't want to leave without us being friends again.

Final words of a departing carabao.

In a fleeting instant, everything will turn around.
All your dreams, your hopes, will turn full circle in a blink.
Sometimes, you regret the things you have done.
But most of time, you have to take it as it comes.
Once you have lost everything,
there is someone or something that will replace it.
Sometimes, you have to wait.
But there are times when you have to open your hands,
and let it go.
Choose what is better.
Choose what is the best for you.
Then everything will be alright.
Though a different person, place and scenario -
at least, you found happiness again. At last.

---------------------
Musta,

Once I've told you how much you mean to me.
Maybe you forgot it because I know you don't take me seriously.
Or maybe you realize it but you cannot continue because we both know
we have somebody else for the moment.
I have told you everything my heart tells me.
You barely register recogntion or approval.
I have no idea what you are thinking.
You love somebody who doesn't love you back at all.
Who doesn't even think of you...

.....
...
..
.

O sige na, mahaba na tong letter ko.
Minsan pagisipan mo ang mga desisyon mo,
lagi lang ako nandito sa likod mo - alam mo yan.
Di kita iiwan, alam mo rin yan.
Kung aalis ka na, alam mong hihintayin kita.
Mahal na kita. Dati pa. Alam mo yan.
Sabi mo snung tinext kita, sa wednesday na...
sana pagisipan mong mabuti...
Thank you.