Save Yourself

Bad trip talaga tang ina. Hay na ko talaga. Ewan ko ba, sising sisi ako sa desisyon ko ngayong nalaman ko na wala palang kwenta yun para sa iba. Puta. Ngayon, nagsisisi talaga ako. Puta, ngayon, magdudusa ako dito, tapos... basta putang ina. Shet. Kaya minsan, talagang pagisipan ang mga desisyon, kasi may mga tao na di nakikita kung gano kalaki para sayo to. Okay? Leche. Wrong move nanaman! Bat kasi eh, alam ko naman na wala nang ________ pero stay pa rin ako. Tanga ko. Shet.

These words, fall from your mouth, and stab me in the back
It should have never come to this
It's too late, for your apologies
They can't bring back all that you've taken from me
Stripped of my pride, and left for dead

This time is the last time I take this abuse
I've found my place, and this place is far away from you
How can you say, I'm at fault
The one to blame is you
Stripped of my pride, and left for dead

I'm so tired of apologizing to myself for you
and what you've done to me
And I've tried, to forgive myself for caring about you
Theres nothing I can do

This time is the last time I take this abuse
I've found my place, and this place is far away from you.

I think..

I think I am in love daw with you oh? Hahahaha... lol.
Well, badtrep ako ngayon kaya ko siguro nasabi sakanya ang mga yon. Sorry ha? Chup.

I almost died.

I had the worst experience in my entire life. Hands down. Last night, I almost died. Seriously. I ate dinner and everything was okay, I even re-watched the Miami - Dallas game that night. Then I went upstairs to get some Z's and then I felt something unusual. My stomach is rumbling. I thought it's because I lie down pretty early? Then it really got painful. As in super painful. Then it became unbearable. I started to sweat profusely and when I try to lie on either side, it became more painful. I tried to sit down, but it was more painful than when I was lying down. I tried to cry but I was not succesful because the pain is really unbearable and crying makes it painful too. I breathed slowly to perserve my energy so I can make my self fall asleep.

This continued on for a few hours. I went down and I wanted really bad to go to hospital. I tried to pee but again, it was painful. I wanted to call my parents who were outside with their friends on a little party but I knew otherwise is better. I went upstairs and tried my all to sleep and ignore the pain.

My last thoughts was that I have internal stomach bleeding. I really thought I will die slowly. My stomach will burst and I would die slowly because of gastric juice mixing with blood. I thought my death would be swift like a thief. That's what I wish. But now is the end.

Then everything was white. Then nothing.

I woke up at 3. I passed out cold. I thought I died. I cried.