Sigh...

The what ifs and the what could have beens...

Chanced upon the Friendster of a former flame. For one, she was really telling the truth the whole time. I thought she really ran away from me and from us because of a mistake we both did a year ago. A mistake that cannot be taken back. A mistake on my part that was really not a mistake but a mere delay of the possibilities. I held it back and she ran away, so, who's to blame, right?

She has her own life now and a happy one at that. I feel guilty for having thought of negative things because of her sudden magical disappearing act. Of course, who wouldn't think of bad things when she erased herself from my map? Anyway, past is past. I hope she has completely forgiven me.

She has helped me cope up with my first heartbreak and it's really a big thing. Halfway through all that, she suddenly vanished without a goodbye. Like Copperfield. Anyway, it's really nice to have put the past behind and forgive a person.

I wish she could have forgiven me for being too preoccupied with the things that doesn't matter when she was always there waiting for me to take the chance. If I did that long time ago, we would have been happy.

But hey, life's a pain the keister. Cope with it and no crying on spilled milk.

Now, thinking back, if I really went for the chance of us being together... that would have been a mess. That time, I was really messed up. And if I went for the hit, I would have been like a monkey up a tree flinging crap at bystanders.... whu? What the heck is that?