To my mother.

You exclaimed in joy when you knew I was coming.
You bellowed screams of pain and suffering when I was trying to come out.
You had unfathomable joy when you first saw my smiling face, that almost look like yours.
You cannot believe how a miracle such as this happen as you gaze upon my small hands.
You always hushed me down when I was crying.
You were always there because I am sickly and frail.
You never left my side until I learned how to walk.
You were smiling when you first hear me talk.
I grew up to be a major pain in the ass.
I was the blacksheep but I knew I was your favorite.
I am sure I made you proud when I've won all those medals in various competitions I had.
I became more intelligent and independent.
I know you felt me growing up so fast that you realized,
that I am growing further away and away from you.
I hated you for all those bickerings I endured.
But deep down still love you because you are my mother.
You molded me to what I am now.
If not for you I will never be this emotionally strong.
I will always be your little Al, even I leave home and have a different life.
I thank you for all the sacrifices, lessons and sermons.
For those made me realize what love truly is.
I know I still haven't told you even once how much you mean to me.
For I am still afraid of a reason until now, I still do not know.
Maybe someday, you will really get to know me.
Not just by the things you see from me,
but because of the things I will relate and tell you.
I maybe the baddest son in the world.
I may hate you more than I love you.
But one thing is for sure,
You are my mother and nothing can change that.
I know the years are catching up to you.
We may not have the time anymore.
I am sorry for being afraid to tell these feelings to you.
But someday, somewhere in time, just for once,
I will tell you: I love you mama, and I am sorry for leaving you.

To all the women who loved their child more that her life - Happy Mother's Day. Apir.