Isang bagsakan lang.

July 27, 2006.
Rendition Digital Technical Interview and Exam.

I’ve studied all there is to study and guess what is the technical exam at Rendition Digital? Yebah, it’s relatively easy J2SE terminologies! So, I got fried. So, what’s new? Well, asa pa ko don ulit. I got fried at the exams and interview! I thought they would give me a PC and do my coding there! If that was the case I could have passed that but well, I was greeted by terminologies… Anyways, I don’t really care. Looks like I will be like this for about 5 months pa.

I’ve run out of companies to apply to. I should have really gotten that Japan gig. Sigh…


WOW, somehow I passed the hard test and interview at Rendition Digital! Yebah! Ma’am Guia called me and said that I should wait for her call within the following days. I cannot believe I really passed that test. My super hard work and waiting has finally paid off.

July 28, 2006

I’ve been waiting for hours and finally, miss Guia called me and told me that I am scheduled for a job offer at Monday. I don’t know what that meant but I hope this is it. The company is pretty nice and they offer chance to take the JAVA certifications and chances of going to abroad. It’s really nice. Yeah.

July 29, 2006
One of the longest days of my life - I agreed to end things between us. Somehow, I cannot tell her face to face so I wrote a letter saying my deepest apologies. I really mean it. Anyways, it is always my fault; she is just too caring to stay. I cannot blame her for the fault is all mine.

I went to Pasig so I could bring her home for the last time. We talked for hours of the things that’s happening in our separated lives, It was just like back then – We laughed and smiled, but somehow, I can still feel her anger. But she’s happy for me that I finally found work. She’s always there for me. She always pulls me up if I get depressed because of my situation. I will miss that.

We finally arrived at Pampanga, the scenario is still the way I remembered, lush greens and packs of animals. The fields were flooded but that still can’t hinder the beauty coming out from the scenario. I’ve always liked looking at these greens like a little child. She is sleeping beside me and I know she will think I am stupid looking at these fields like a child at his first Christmas.

I wanted to hold her hand like I always do in trips like this again. But somehow, I felt that if I hold her hand for the last time, she will brush it off. It dawned to me that this is really it. Everything has an end and this is it for us. We got off the bus and I placed my feet on the rocky and dusty asphalt for the last time. I carried her bags for the last time as she got inside the tricycle and I handed the bags to her. I inserted my letter on one of her bags. I cannot say goodbye so I’ve poured everything in that letter. I am such a coward but at least I’ve tried my best, though it wasn’t good enough. I still lost at the end because of my fault.

For the last time, I’ve waited under the shade of that familiar tree that’s always been there to shade me in hot mornings when I brought her home. I wished to see her house at the province just for once, but I guess I will not be able to. The bus arrived and I cast a last look at the area. I smiled and I sat at the empty sit at the back of the bus.

I know she will text me to take care and she did. I did not reply. Back in the days, she will call me to check out if I am in the bus and she will tell me to text if I arrived at home. She did not, so I just dozed off and tried to get her off my mind. I am happy for her for she is not feeling the way I do. She is not feeling the way I miss her, she is not feeling the loneliness I am in now. I really wish not.

After 3 hours, I arrived at my home and I texted her like I always do. Well, this is the last Saturday I will bring her home. I will surely miss that. I saved the tickets and placed it in the container where I put all the memories.

I went to my friend’s computer shop and stayed there until 5 am. I arrived home at 6 and went upstairs to sleep. I looked at the morning dawn. It is raining and cold. I thanked God for bringing her to my life even for just a while. I thanked God for letting her change me for the man that I am now. I thanked God for bringing someone in my life who taught me to be strong, to be patient, to be hard working and to be able to experience that funny thing we called love.

No more tears this time.

I slept.

July 30, 2006
Nothing happened. This is the first day of the rest of my life. Tomorrow, I will smile and say to the world: “Mock me, insult me and kiss my ass, world!”

Better say goodbye to the old ways and embrace the new.
Oh, I haven’t take a bath today for I woke up at 1 and it is sooo cold… Babuy ko no? It’s ok, no one will be able to smell me anyway, all of us have sipon today.


July 31, 2006

Yowza! Got accepted at R.Digital already. It’s really a good thing I rejected all those job offers because the one I really wanted finally came to me! I’ll be starting at Aug 14. My salary is higher than my previous one and I’ll be receiving training and free certifications! Thank you God for everything. I sometimes doubted you but you still are there for me. Thanks. And mj, thanks for always being so supportive. Without you, I will not be this strong. Thanks to you too. Yebah!