The weekend.

Friday:

Watched American Gangster with Jet and Joan. Joan was pretty fussy about watching this movie since she wanted to watch AVP2. Come on, if that's the case, I won't be watching that. I don't like non-sense movies. Watching the first one was a pain and watching the second one would be a total waste of time.

I can imagine what the "story" would be like:

There's this human stuck in some desolated place, of course, since this is a sci-fi movie, h/she would be equipped with high-tech guns and stuff. But when h/she thought that h/she will be saved, h/she noticed that there are some noise emanating from weird places like under the toilet seat, inside their high-tech weapon cabinets with built-in microwave oven - repeat this "wierd-noise" scene for 5 times then put in 3 "chase" scenes and some clever way of killing off aliens and then you got AVP2! Yehey!

Anyway, American Gangster is good. Watch it.

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Saturday:

This day sucks. Disaster, once again stroke our puny selves. All I can say is everything happens for a reason, whatever reason that may be. And you always got your friends to call if we ever do have unbearable problems.
Friends are like extensions of your soul, though I don't believe in souls, I just read this somewhere, anyway, they are always there for us whenever we need them.

They're there - to trash talk you (which happens like 80% of your time being together), to laugh with you, to cry for you, to tap you behind the back for a job well done, and to hug you whenever you got the biggest of the biggest problem.

They are always there.

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Sunday:

Disclaimer: Under 18 years old not permitted.

this is where the magic happens. lols.

Now that you're properly warned, read on... Anyway, I know you'll disregard the disclaimer above, even you're 18, you'll still read on. Nyahaha, that's the power of the "pinagbabawal"... People usually uses that technique to... what the hell, just read on!

Since it will expire, I used my Massage pass last Sunday.

Since it was my first time, I was afraid... I thought it would hurt too much, hehe. Well, you'll be, if you yourself would be lead to a dark room with only candle lights as light source and with sensual sounds in the background usually gracing cheap Tagalog porn movies.

Anyway, I just closed my fists and clenched my jaw as the masahista (sorry, the English word is hard to spell) told me that I should - gasp - undress. I sighed a sigh of release when she added that only the shirt part. But then again, her raspy, husky voice suggests otherwise. Yeah, you read that right - husky, imagine a girl with a husky voice - it's scary. Scarier than the gay-voice of Rufa Gutierrez.

The smell in this small room was funny, include the music plus the reddish satin like tangible ambiance and it all adds up into a freaky, fiery sex palace - well, that was what I'm thinking - remember 80% of things inside a man's head is always sex... ANYWAY, she asked me - double gasp - to tuwad-ize (ano english ng tuwad?). I can feel my heart pounding at my throat and I thought I'd spit it out, thankfully, with her guiding - gasp - hands, I found myself relaxing and lying down this weird bed-like thing with hole on the head part (see picture).

Fully vulnerable, I just prayed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster* as she ran her hands (with the lotion of my choice, which is chocolate-vanilla cream or something) along my naked back, I can feel the sticky and disgusting sensation in my spines. She's like an artist drawing figures on my back - well, if I knew better, I guess she's sending "LOVE MAKING ON" to 2870 using my back as her friggin' keypad. After a few seconds, I felt like she's not into love making but she wants to friggin' KILL me. Yeah, she was pressing so hard on my exposed back that I almost shouted "HELP, RAPE!". Well, I've watched this movie where a dude pressed this girls vital points at the back and the girl was suddenly immobilized, served as food for the mad man. Cannibal Holocaust ata yung movie.

ANYWAY, after a few minutes of pain, she asked me to - ALL CAPS GASP - lie on my back (lie ba o lay?), exposing my bird, ahem, excuse me, exposing my body! I thought I was doomed since it since like she absorbed my strength during the back massage - she was like using all her body parts to bring me to relaxation, what happened was otherwise since I kept on thinking what body part she's currently using.

Ok, so she used up this funny smelling lotion and rubbed it again on my body. I felt disgusting and used... after the torment, she says that the massage is done and she told me:

Masahista: "Nag-enjoy ka ba?"
Allan: (Fakes a smile, afraid she might pull out a small dagger and kill me.) "OO naman..."
Masahista: "Hindi ata eh, sundan mo na lang ako sa labas pag tapos mo magbihis."
Allan: (Sigh of relief) "Okeeey..."

After that, I went out, ashamed of myself and my body... and went to the gym. Nyahaha.


*Google it!